"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." -Psalm 143:8

I spent a deal of time yesterday thinking about the losses in my life. By losses, specifically loved ones gone home. No secret that this time of year tends to do that to me, but of late there are a number of people in my life dealing with death or illness and I always identify with their fears and sadness. The list of things you go through is not only endless and in constant shift, but often unexpainable to even those who have buried someone and had to make that walk back to the car. Loss is completely a personal thing and the way we navigate its scars on our internal skin can't really be shared or understood by anyone else completely, no matter how much they love us or want to share or understand.

Sorrow waits for us while we sleep. She doesn't lose interest or wander away in the moonlight. And as intense as the relief waking from a nightmare to discover it was only a bad dream is the disappointment to realize it wasn't. That moment you figure out you're right where you left off before you finally managed to fall asleep and your heart sinks as you step back into the horror film in progress. Let the morning bring word of Your unfailing love. It doesn't say let the morning bring answers. Let the morning bring some type of explanation, or miracle, just love. And when my head hits the pillow at night it is His love I count on. I know He loves me.

It eventually gets better. The sadness seasons the rest of who we have become and we notice one day we don't want to throw up anymore and the tears, though unpredicatable, become an almost welcome assurance that these people are still a part of us and that despite the temptation to castle our hearts, we still love and feel and believe it's worth the heartache.

And so I love and I trust in His. And I pray mightily for those who are in the middle of their sadness...