dang it...

I had such a great study this morning on patience. I want to sit and think about it but I just have too much on my should-have-done-this-last-week list to give it justice. Suffice it to say that rediscovering the truth that this particular characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit has everything to do with mercy, forgiveness and people, and not with the whole "stuff" happens end of things, was good for me to think about. Again. (Second time through this particular study.) As was realizing that sometimes God needs us to encounter people that rub us the wrong way (including friends and family) or bring out the worst in us so that the junk still taking up space in our hearts is brought to the surface where He can change us and refine us. And that any area in my heart found wanting in mercy or forgiveness is an area where I'm actually carrying that person around on my back. When I picture that, how stupid can I be? Not to mention I have no reason to expect His mercy on my life if I'm withholding it from anyone else. I can be pretty self-righteous at times. Easier to believe my little world is more perfect than it really is, even if it's a simple as thinking I'm always right, or my way is the best way. I'm just so quick to evaluate everyone else. Their motives, their choices, their blessings, their business and truth is I need to get a grip. I need to start seeing "me" for who I really am and quit measuring the faults of everyone else on the planet in an attempt to make me seem like I have it all figured out. Maybe taking time to put it out "there" is a step toward dealing with it and letting Him do what He does best. Lord knows, I can use all the mercy I can get...