She giggles and if you've never been around her before you wonder "who is that?" That, is my cousin Jill. She has a giggle like no one else on the planet and she uses it unabashedly. Jill loves family gatherings. Jill loves me and everyone else in this family. Jill was the flower girl in my mom and dad's wedding. [She was really sick that day but she still looks adorable in the black and white pictures.] Jill used to let Veronica and I come over to her house and play dolls. She only lived a block away and although she is older than we are, she was always really good with us. I used to love getting her hand- me- downs. There were a pair of red shoes I thought were the most beautiful shoes in the world and she let me have them. I used to copy her handwriting for hours on end. Jill always circled her i's and I thought that was cool. Jill addressed all of Shawna's wedding invitations because I still think it's cool. Jill had three brothers. I think that's why she loved to play with us like she did, being the only girl in the house and all. Jill sure does love to giggle. I love to laugh. But Jill, she giggles.

Jill's dad, my mom's oldest brother, died from cancer when I was 15. It was my first real face-to- face with loss. My mom was devastated. I missed two days of school, getting to the parking lot only to have mom take me home. He was such a neat person. I remember him laying in bed, defying the pain he was in to show my dad some slides about salvation. My mom adored him and loved his teaching. I wish I had known him as an adult, I think I would have really enjoyed him.

Standing in my kitchen yesterday, surrounded by family, I felt like praying. I felt like thanking the Father for this legacy of faith lived before my eyes and letting these people I love so much listen in. I wasn't planning an Easter like this. Usually it's just the Fey's, my dad and us. But with the funeral this week and Jan and her family still in town, I thought it would be nice to be together. Jill's older brother was in town too, so we unexpectedly had ourselves a gathering. And Jill loves gatherings. So Jill giggled herself silly. It was just a lovely thing to enjoy each other like we used to at a time when there weren't so many people missing. The song hasn't ended but the verses have sure changed. And I think it's a lovely song. Not at all perfect but it's mine. And I love that He chose these people to be my family, to be my world. Life has taken us all to different places but it's nice to know they're out there and it's nice to know they love me. And it's really nice to hear that giggle.