blogging believers...
I was talking some of this over with a couple close friends yesterday explaining what I had done and decided to do to make it right, and there were a couple recurring questions: Why do "they" keep coming back and reading this? Who in their right mind would print what I wrote and give it to her to begin with? If they were so concerned, why haven't they come to you and talked to you about it?
We all do this. Even the ones of us who proclaim the Matt.18 motto, we all make choices to talk to everyone but the one person we should be talking to. We all do this and we all know better. I know better. And as I debated with someone yesterday about my responsibility in all this, [she felt this is a personal space, I can write what I want] I landed on this: If I blog about something and place it out where anyone who happens by can view it, and haven't talked to the person directly about it, it's still gossip. It's still not going to them and talking it out first. I have a right to my feelings, I have a right to post whatever I want, but I need to take responsibility for all that means in the process. What I wrote was true and it was what I was working through at the time. But I should have gone to her first or dropped it.
This still doesn't answer those questions. It doesn't answer why two of my recent posts were fueled by conversations people chose to have with someone else about me and not with me. And these people know Matt. 18. These people should have talked to me. That's this boat we're in. Maybe then I wouldn't have to blog about it.
Once again, I'm sorry. Hopefully with all the hits this got in the last 24 hours, everyone knows I'm done writing about it all. And I can leave it for God to work through. He was doing that anyway, at least He's been nailing me on some stuff, so feel free to join Him.
Perhaps a guideline for blogging believers is in order. Or maybe I just need to apply the one I already have...
We all do this. Even the ones of us who proclaim the Matt.18 motto, we all make choices to talk to everyone but the one person we should be talking to. We all do this and we all know better. I know better. And as I debated with someone yesterday about my responsibility in all this, [she felt this is a personal space, I can write what I want] I landed on this: If I blog about something and place it out where anyone who happens by can view it, and haven't talked to the person directly about it, it's still gossip. It's still not going to them and talking it out first. I have a right to my feelings, I have a right to post whatever I want, but I need to take responsibility for all that means in the process. What I wrote was true and it was what I was working through at the time. But I should have gone to her first or dropped it.
This still doesn't answer those questions. It doesn't answer why two of my recent posts were fueled by conversations people chose to have with someone else about me and not with me. And these people know Matt. 18. These people should have talked to me. That's this boat we're in. Maybe then I wouldn't have to blog about it.
Once again, I'm sorry. Hopefully with all the hits this got in the last 24 hours, everyone knows I'm done writing about it all. And I can leave it for God to work through. He was doing that anyway, at least He's been nailing me on some stuff, so feel free to join Him.
Perhaps a guideline for blogging believers is in order. Or maybe I just need to apply the one I already have...
posted by ret at 8:51 AM
4 Comments:
two things keep running through my head these past few days while reading this...
one... i love you. more than you know, more than i could probably express. you've been a huge part of my life and it's really hard to see someone who has always been so strong and so certain be something other than that. hang in there, the road will be tough and trying, but there is a great big light at the end of the tunnel...
and two... I can't remember all of the lyrics... actually for some reason can't remember most of them, but all I can hear in my head reading the "stones" postings is Higher Praise singing "Lay it Down"
you're carrying a heavy load...
love you
The whole blogging thing walks a fine line. I've been consistently reminded of that. The problem we face is that a blog is literally defined as a "web log." It's a journal. It's a strange, stream-of-consciousness collection of personal thoughts and reflections. It is a place to be brutally honest among whatever blogging community you've become a part of. It's an odd combination of personal and public discourse and everybody screws up what should or should not be out there. Everybody screws up with not quite perceiving what connotation something does or does not have. And through it all I get in trouble and I eat humble pie and then I blog in a more careful way the next time around. It's no different than what we have to do with silly verbal any conversations we have, really, it's just that the blog-conversation happens to be done in such a way that someone can gleefully print it up and use it against you in spectacular ways. Trust me - I know. It's an unsettling moment, but I always admit to what I wrote and try to clean it up and clear it up as best I can.
What I can appreciate is that you acknowledge there are better moments than other when writing and reflecting. I had to as well. And you've never changed a thing you've written. It's all right there and you work with it. You live with your words and you make whatever corrections you can and move on. We all do that or should do that, blog or no blog. I'm sorry it's a tangled mess right now for you, but you're handling it well and Christlike. Can't ask for too much more.
I am proud of you, my friend, for admitting you are human while only accepting responsibility for what is yours to accept...counselors have refered to that as establishing healthy boundaries, others call it wisdom, and still others call it humility (without which you would never have admitted any responsibility). I believe it is all of the above.
We have all (yes, self included) had thoughts and feelings that, once expressed be it in written or spoken word, morph into something a little (or a lot) different than they were when birthed. One becomes more vulnerable to misunderstanding when writing what is stirring in their heart on a web log. And I agree that if one is to take on the responsibility of reading your "journal," any questions or comments should be brought to you directly.
I will close by sharing with anyone who decides to read my response to your post on the world wide web that I appreciate and love you; your sincerity, your honesty, your humility, your openness to accountability, your heart...the whole package.
That being said, and since I am one of the folks who consider you a life-long friend, I know that you have laid it down (well said, Kristy :) and have moved forward.
The Lord bless you and make your path straight. Love you Ret.
Not sure what to say. Imagine that. Thanks.
Post a Comment
<< Home