jennifer...
My niece and her boyfriend were here over the weekend. I don't remember her looking more beautiful.
Jenny, or Jennie as she prefers it spelled, has been gone more than "home" since she went away to college, and actually longer than that when counting the travel demand of her soccer schedule several years before that. Shawna spent the first 10 years of her life or so memorizing Jenny; she spent a great deal of time at our house, and was the topic- du- jour of any given day. We have a baseball card from one of Shawna's t-ball teams that has her personal bio on the back. In the space where it says favorite position: Next to Jenny.
At family gatherings they were inseparable but for the times the invisible line was drawn between the older and younger cousins, leaving Shawna many times on my lap shedding the tears of childhood disappointment. In elementary years each drive home from school began and ended with whether she had played with Jenny at recess or not. We have pictures and video of them seated side-by-side piano recital after piano recital.
We took Jenny to Minnesota with us when they were like 9 or 10. Three memories that stand out: of the two of them making up a dance to some song all afternoon complete with ribbon sticks; seeing them run ahead of us into the Haunted House at Paul Bunyan Land just to come exiting the entrance seconds later at full scream; and Jenny staring at me every time I put on my makeup. Good times.
They grew apart in almost unnotable increments over the years. Partially the one-year age difference, partially schedules, partially interests. Still Shawna always enjoyed seeing her in the hall or catching up at an occasional family or church affair. I've always known how much Shawna adored her, but what I have grown to notice over the last few years is how much I think Jennie adores Shawna; how much she looks up to her and maybe in some ways envies her. Funny really. Jennie's list of accomplishments and broken athletic records, newspaper headlines and seemingly outgoing personality have always left Shawna a bit in the shadows, not far from the little first grader longing to be asked to play with her team for the recess soccer match. Even now, Jennie captures the room when she walks in. Just something about her. More than a bit of unpredictability, a bit of life lived out loud, a bit of reckless abandon that maybe my little "afraid to make a mistake" or "get my new white dress dirty" darling girl doesn't relate to. We all just shake our heads and laugh like crazy knowing Jennie will always leave us in the dust of her experiences. And we love her. We miss her. And we pray that God will capture her personality and gifts and use them for His glory in His good and perfect time. I suspect deep inside, this wild child is still staring at me and still in awe of her younger cousin. I suspect she masks more insecurity than we might realize under that confident strut we've come to recognize, and she may even cave once in a while under the constant pressure to perform at such a demanding pace, I don't really know. But she looked pretty happy and she ended up staying in town longer than usual.
Shawna asked her to be an attendant in her wedding party. That will be a fun day all around. Jennie's twin brother happens to be one of John's best friends and will be a groomsman. God sometimes just outdoes Himself with the dots along the way. All this love in our lives. All this...wonderful.
It was really nice to spend some time with Jennie. It was nice to meet this guy who brought tears to her eyes when she told me about him several months ago. I hope he likes shadows. She certainly steals the sun wherever she goes and I love that girl, I do.
Jenny, or Jennie as she prefers it spelled, has been gone more than "home" since she went away to college, and actually longer than that when counting the travel demand of her soccer schedule several years before that. Shawna spent the first 10 years of her life or so memorizing Jenny; she spent a great deal of time at our house, and was the topic- du- jour of any given day. We have a baseball card from one of Shawna's t-ball teams that has her personal bio on the back. In the space where it says favorite position: Next to Jenny.
At family gatherings they were inseparable but for the times the invisible line was drawn between the older and younger cousins, leaving Shawna many times on my lap shedding the tears of childhood disappointment. In elementary years each drive home from school began and ended with whether she had played with Jenny at recess or not. We have pictures and video of them seated side-by-side piano recital after piano recital.
We took Jenny to Minnesota with us when they were like 9 or 10. Three memories that stand out: of the two of them making up a dance to some song all afternoon complete with ribbon sticks; seeing them run ahead of us into the Haunted House at Paul Bunyan Land just to come exiting the entrance seconds later at full scream; and Jenny staring at me every time I put on my makeup. Good times.
They grew apart in almost unnotable increments over the years. Partially the one-year age difference, partially schedules, partially interests. Still Shawna always enjoyed seeing her in the hall or catching up at an occasional family or church affair. I've always known how much Shawna adored her, but what I have grown to notice over the last few years is how much I think Jennie adores Shawna; how much she looks up to her and maybe in some ways envies her. Funny really. Jennie's list of accomplishments and broken athletic records, newspaper headlines and seemingly outgoing personality have always left Shawna a bit in the shadows, not far from the little first grader longing to be asked to play with her team for the recess soccer match. Even now, Jennie captures the room when she walks in. Just something about her. More than a bit of unpredictability, a bit of life lived out loud, a bit of reckless abandon that maybe my little "afraid to make a mistake" or "get my new white dress dirty" darling girl doesn't relate to. We all just shake our heads and laugh like crazy knowing Jennie will always leave us in the dust of her experiences. And we love her. We miss her. And we pray that God will capture her personality and gifts and use them for His glory in His good and perfect time. I suspect deep inside, this wild child is still staring at me and still in awe of her younger cousin. I suspect she masks more insecurity than we might realize under that confident strut we've come to recognize, and she may even cave once in a while under the constant pressure to perform at such a demanding pace, I don't really know. But she looked pretty happy and she ended up staying in town longer than usual.
Shawna asked her to be an attendant in her wedding party. That will be a fun day all around. Jennie's twin brother happens to be one of John's best friends and will be a groomsman. God sometimes just outdoes Himself with the dots along the way. All this love in our lives. All this...wonderful.
It was really nice to spend some time with Jennie. It was nice to meet this guy who brought tears to her eyes when she told me about him several months ago. I hope he likes shadows. She certainly steals the sun wherever she goes and I love that girl, I do.
posted by ret at 4:32 PM
1 Comments:
That was a nice thing to say. Thanks.
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