$75

Before taxes. Honestly, the day wasn't bad. Just wasn't as fun as I had hoped. Stepping away from the classroom for this long must have carried me farther from my high school dreams than I had realized. I'm just not "there" anymore. I think once-upon-a-time I prided myself on making theory fun and bringing out the best in their early voices but I don't know. Yesterday just felt like...subbing. I guess I wondered a little if I'd find my rhythm and think: I need this. I've missed this. But nope.

I'll grant grace for the truth that I haven't put in a non-stop professional work day in a while, and for the truth I was up earlier than usual, and even for the truth I was trying to implement someone else's lesson plans. I'll even give some for the fact the morning was spent trying to capture the attention of five, first-time-this-year classes, held feet away from a giant freezer in the cafeteria where staff was busy storing what seemed like a dozen Monday morning deliveries, complete with the temps and distractions. I should also allow for the fact that although I arrived 30 minutes early, I should have come the night before. Familiarizing myself with the lessons, locating things, although I subbed for a competently organized lady and most of my frustration was just trying to read through that many lesson plans so quickly. Thankfully, the second school repeated the same lesson plans so I did indeed get the hang of it.

I had both my nephews. Passing Chandler in the hall upon my arrival on his way to lunch required much restraint, especially since he walked quietly by and stuck his tongue out at me under smiling, impish eyes. I toyed with having him exit my class under false pretenses: a run to the office, get me a drink etc. only to prep the rest of his class that we were going to put him in the front row and when we began the dance section of this song we were to do, everyone else should sit down and leave him standing...but. I did promise his mother.

Harrison came in quietly and was seated near the last row on the floor. I began without noting his presence to any degree and as I looked back to smile at him discovered he too had found his tongue. These boys adore me.

I had some fun. It really wasn't all that bad. But I'm sure I have no desire to pursue it full time again. Or rather part time again. I suppose if I sub for her again, it would get easier being more familiar with things. And although I will probably have some nerves show up, I'm looking forward to subbing at the high school. Not that Rabbit Foo Foo and Little Tommy Tinker didn't rock. It's just hard going back to the basics after having enjoyed such excellence at the opposite end of things for so many years. But I'm whining. $75 is $75.

Favorite moments:

• Hey lady. Is there really a piano over there? [A kindergartener peering behind the upright as I'm playing.]
• Sing by yourself again. [Unruly 3rd grade group mimicking my vibrato.]
• I like your rings. I like your necklace. Ooh. Pretty bracelet. [Several from the same class surround me all talking at the same time while I'm trying to teach. Felt a bit like a fish flake in a hungry goldfish bowl.]
• I have to go to the bathroom. Now.
• I have to go to the bathroom. Now.
• I really have to go to the bathroom. Now.
• I want to go home.
• I'm tired.
• You're nice.
• You're pretty. [Ok. I missed this a little.]

And my absolute favorite: Harrison's class. The reading of Rabbit Foo Foo for the millionth time of the day. I purposefully turn the book upside down as I showed them the pictures feigning surprise when of course they quickly informed me of the mistake. Well, as you may or may not know, being a comedian in my former life, I play this card for all it's worth. I end up having kids stand to fix the book and try to help me understand. Each time showing them how it looks perfect from my perspective. And then begin the reading with it upside down and pretend it's fine. They giggle. They laugh. They scream. Apparently, the louder the voice the easier I'll get it. Just before it gets me thrown out of the school, I allow one helpful little girl to hold it in place in my hands as I turn it to them and with much relief and a glimpse of frustration she takes her seat. And just when you'd think my masterful entertainment had ended....I whisper the finish and yell "goon" at them, just to see them reel with surprise. I know. I'm good.

I made sure to tell Harrison, I knew what I was doing. But I don't think he bought it. The risk I take for a few laughs at the end of a long day. Or any other day for that matter.

I lived. I did well. I just don't want to do this when I grow up anymore. Have to see. For now, it's optional and I can deal with that. Have a great Tuesday. And if you have any repentance due some poor substitute teacher from your past, I'd suggest you git 'r done...