ifs and buts...

if I weren't such a procrastinator I wouldn't be so overwhelmed by my expanding folder of to- dos that never seem to get done-

if I weren't so into this world it wouldn't take a sunset and a great loss for me to long for the next-

if my dad hadn't gone for that pile of wood maybe he'd be ringing my doorbell holding a plastic bag full of coffee, apples or random catalogs-

if I were a better "me" I'd close my eyes at night without all the if only's-

but:

I blog.

I shop.

I grieve.

I regret.

if "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas...