Loss is the most significant difference between these mountains and valleys we call life. I made the mistake of thinking I could linger a while more where the view is bright and the path easy. But to the valley we go and though He stands there braving the enemy in my place it is still a most painful valley.

If I had only. If he had only.

Not now. Not like this. Not yet.

Please give him back. Please give us a do over. And please not this blasted valley. Exactly how broken must I be. This hurts so bad and I just don't want to be here.

Not now. Not like this. Not yet.

You're supposed to tell us what to do. You're supposed to read me dumb poems over the phone. You're supposed to stop by and bring me coffee. You're supposed to dance with my baby on her wedding night. You're supposed to die in your sleep twenty years from now and outlive your precious dog.

You're supposed to be in the hallway tomorrow morning doling out candy and hugs.

It just wasn't supposed to be like this.

Not now. Not yet.

Not you.