I thank God nearly every day for the gift of having Shawna living 5 minutes away from me and for the amount of precious time I get to spend with her.  I try pretty diligently not to take that blessing for granted. So I clearly wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. I wouldn't. But I still find myself as Thanksgiving nears each year observing the gathering cars and family of others not so fortunate and befuddled by the envy I feel. I suppose, after all, I do in fact take it for granted or I wouldn't feel like I'm missing out on all the excitement and anticipation of seeing loved ones for maybe the first time all year, if not longer. I'm a silly girl. Like someone wishing they were sick so they could get presents or something as imbalanced as that. This year, however, for reasons unknown this side of the tapestry, just about everyone on my maternal side of the family is rolling into town for Thanksgiving. People who haven't assembled in 30 years or so all at once. Counting funerals. And weddings. So I'm excited. Really excited. Not as excited about gathering in a fellowship hall in lieu of a cozy, crowded home, but the mental benefits and clean up should be easier on all involved. 

Several of my cousins on their way are notorious for their humor. I have a little of my own. Cue the laughter. Cue the countdown. And envy be gone...

They claim up to 80% of people who suffer limb loss experience phantom sensations at least once in their lifetime. My question is this: what percentage of people who suffer loss of loved ones experience the phantom sensation they are still alive?  Sensory phenomenon aside I'd be set for life if I had a nickel for every time I instinctively want to call...

As great as it feels for that split second lapse it sure sucks when it passes...

I'm actually defying my desire to be in bed snuggled next to my darling Mylie right now out of guilt for ignoring my sweet angels on the side for far too long. Shame on me, after her faithful and unconditional account of much of my life these last four years. Is it just me, or is life these days just plain crazy busy?! And what really befuddles me is the fact that I'm not even close to being as busy as I used to be. Nuts, I tell you. Nuts.

Mylie just had her bath. Tolerates it at best. Smells good enough to eat. Can't wait to snuggle. I missed her this weekend. (I missed Kevin too, but she's the only one who consistently pees herself when I come through the door.)

John and Shawna came over after joining us for dinner at Sprouts this evening. I miss their dating years (occasionally). I get more sleep these days, but I get nostalgic for our hours spent feeding our addiction to seasons of 24, LOST, Smallville and Roswell. Now they veg on their own couch and we play with a puppy.

Shawna and I were both pretty tired already but one has to eat. We note by note made it through a four hour rehearsal for Bethlehem Experience this afternoon and considering we were both out of town the last two days, were reasonably prepared for it. Rolled back into town right before rehearsal for weekend services yesterday and there went the weekend.

There are certain exhaustions worth the bother and shopping in St. Louis with my Shawna all to myself certainly makes the list. Met up with the sister-in-laws and nieces and enjoyed a nice dinner together and catch up. And did I mention having my Shawna all to myself.

We were both running a bit on empty when we left Friday from a late Thursday night. She always has Fuel and Kevin and I have small group at our house. Not to mention rehearsal on Wednesday night and dinner at John and Shawna's Tuesday and our other small group was at our house Monday night. Oh, and work. Yes, there's always work. It doesn't often feel like work but it still consumes a significant amount of those fleeting hours that fleet at record pace the older I get. And I'm not even as in the thick of things as once upon a time. In the last 30 days by group effort and divine assistance (emphasis divine assistance) Crossing-Kirksville launched well and a Crossing-Quincy Worship CD is being produced. And of course people are hip deep in Bethlehem Experience. Exceptions: the indoor entertainment (namely us) who are only ankle deep and need to be hip deep. I swear it's September. Is it possible our calendar could fall prey to some sort of terrorist scheme to screw with my calm and happy place...

I smile at the notion of gathering my favorite special people two weeks from now for John and Tyler's ordination. (So don't even think of not showing up.) Without fail, it will be here and over before I post again. Nothing much to be done about it I suppose. I just keep dragging my tired self to bed each night, thanking the Almighty for provision and grace and giving my best shot at actually seeing the life that I'm beyond blessed to live. Although I know there are precious chunks of it I never get my sights on. Still I aim.

39 days until Christmas everybody. 38 by the time I post this baby. To all a good night.