I love you too...

thirteen years ago today I spent the day making sure dad had something to eat, even if he wasn't all that hungry. even if all he really wanted was for mom to wake up. it was a day a lot like this one. gray, chilly, and the day before Valentine's Day. which is why I made a run to the mall to find some gifts for Shawna and other family. which is why I wasn't there when she left us, and I will always wish I had been. neither here nor there. I have freeze-locked the moment she nearly yelled "I love you, I love you, I love you!" as they gave her some pain medicine that made her comfortable but also put her into a deep sleep for the remaining four days. I can't believe I missed "it"- her quiet exit from this side to the other, but I did. I didn't however miss her last emphatic expression of her love for us. she loved us, loved us, loved us. and she spent her life meaning it...

give it to me straight....

I remember being told by a youth minister/choir director in my early teen years that my voice needed more vibrato, that my tone was too straight. 30 years later and I'm staring at an unopened CD set "Mastering Vibrato", not because my tone is too straight, but because like many other female vocalists with a passion for contemporary worship songs, I have more vibrato than I know what to do with. It has been a difficult passage for me to come to peace with not leading worship vocally but I have. Anyone who has spent their life sitting alone at a piano singing away, has an understandably challenging time seperating the two mediums of expression from each other. They have always gone hand in hand for me. I sing and play. Play and sing, and it's been a little trip for me transitioning to "play".

So we'll open this thing up and see if old cords can learn new tricks. If they can, I'm hoping to help fellow voices learn to manage their vibrations in a contemporary-friendly way. If not, well it looks like Mylie will just get an earful at home. To date, she has yet to complain... And if that doesn't work I can always see if the Symphony Chorus needs a soprano :)