Sit Ubu. Sit...
Have you ever tried to concentrate so hard on remembering a certain moment as it's happening that somewhere in the decision that this will one day be a wonderful memory you almost miss it altogether? That was a confusing sentence. Even I don't get what I'm trying to say...
Sunday night dad joined us for dinner, along with John, Sha, Sara & Neal. Sometimes when he isn't the only guest I feel like he gets "talked around" a lot...even when it's Veronica and her family...I notice sometimes we've spent an hour and I didn't really talk to him, he just sits and listens to the rest of us chatter on about everything but the kitchen sink. And sometimes even the sink. I wonder what he thinks of all that. If he'd rather be fishing or if it just reminds him that mom isn't next to him. Every once in a while we'll be talking and look around and he'll be gone. No hug, no goodbye, he just fades away, unwilling to interrupt the program already in progress.
Well, the other night after the meal, I went outside with him to give Abby some scraps. It was a nice evening and even though the table was waiting to be cleared and everything in my Martha spirit wanted to tidy up & entertain the others in the house, I had the good sense to grab a couple lawn chairs, "fetch" two cups of coffee and as my grandpa used to say, "sit a spell". Nearly two hours later I was really glad I did. It took that long for me to stop concentrating so hard on making it a memory and just "be". He stayed longer than he usually does and it was nice spending the evening in the front yard. And, it's true: the dishes did not in fact go anywhere while we were outside and as Martha re-inhabited my skin I knew I had chosen well.
Well enough, that yesterday, when he calls me with another "rejoice with me" at what a lovely day the Lord had made...I hurried my errands at Wal-Mart, grabbed two cups of coffee at the BK drive through and surprised him in his backyard for another memory in the making. He's quite proud of his garden, complete with flowering potato plants, and a nibble on the first pod of the season. There's something to this "Mary" thing. I didn't exactly sit at my father's feet, but taking the time to sit at his side has a nice feel to it all the same.
Sunday night dad joined us for dinner, along with John, Sha, Sara & Neal. Sometimes when he isn't the only guest I feel like he gets "talked around" a lot...even when it's Veronica and her family...I notice sometimes we've spent an hour and I didn't really talk to him, he just sits and listens to the rest of us chatter on about everything but the kitchen sink. And sometimes even the sink. I wonder what he thinks of all that. If he'd rather be fishing or if it just reminds him that mom isn't next to him. Every once in a while we'll be talking and look around and he'll be gone. No hug, no goodbye, he just fades away, unwilling to interrupt the program already in progress.
Well, the other night after the meal, I went outside with him to give Abby some scraps. It was a nice evening and even though the table was waiting to be cleared and everything in my Martha spirit wanted to tidy up & entertain the others in the house, I had the good sense to grab a couple lawn chairs, "fetch" two cups of coffee and as my grandpa used to say, "sit a spell". Nearly two hours later I was really glad I did. It took that long for me to stop concentrating so hard on making it a memory and just "be". He stayed longer than he usually does and it was nice spending the evening in the front yard. And, it's true: the dishes did not in fact go anywhere while we were outside and as Martha re-inhabited my skin I knew I had chosen well.
Well enough, that yesterday, when he calls me with another "rejoice with me" at what a lovely day the Lord had made...I hurried my errands at Wal-Mart, grabbed two cups of coffee at the BK drive through and surprised him in his backyard for another memory in the making. He's quite proud of his garden, complete with flowering potato plants, and a nibble on the first pod of the season. There's something to this "Mary" thing. I didn't exactly sit at my father's feet, but taking the time to sit at his side has a nice feel to it all the same.
posted by ret at 8:50 AM
2 Comments:
Way to go girlfriend. I'm telling ya the Mary stuff rocks. And you will never ever regret the choices you make to be Mary by letting the dishes wait. God is giving you wonderful "Hallmark moments" now that you have the time for them. Keep your eyes open, there are more to come!
Another beautiful entry. Bless you in entering your father's world. I know that's hard some times.
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