dual action cleansing...

I can't dog Kev for being an infomercial junkie because of the dust that has comfortably settled on my turbo jam dvd upstairs, but this time the post-it note had the 800# of a colon cleansing product written on it and he followed it up with a conversation. I told him I have long been interested in the whole colon cleansing process spawned by a magazine advertisement I read over ten years ago. (The one with the graphically repulsive photos of alien-like parasites and tales of toilet bowl horror...) Occasionally I run an internet search and peruse the wealth of treatments, herbal and otherwise, that boast of weight loss and energy boosts. It was during one of these little phases of mine that led to the purchase of a super slimming herbal tea recommended for cleansing and detoxification that just happened to still be in the kitchen cabinet unopened due to my fear I wouldn't be able to leave the premises for days. So Kevin decides to try it and in true Kevin Nobis form I notice he's brewing his third cup. (in the same evening...) I abort the whistling kettle and caution him to first read the directions and then consider following them before we have an anaconda on the loose.

Next day I'm on my way home from work and he tells me over the phone he's having another round of "tea" apparently undaunted by heading to the gym as soon as I get home. I ask him about it in person en route to QU and we have the following conversation:

"So is it working?"

"I think so. I woke up in the greatest mood this morning...like maybe my system was cleaned out."

"Any problems at work?"

"Nope, not really. I looked at it real close. Did we eat something red and green?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Hmm. They said people can collect balls of fuzz in their intestines."

"Well, you're a giant fur ball waiting to happen..."

"They were nice and long. And firm."

"     "

"But I'm a little disappointed. I was expecting more to happen. Like, well, I always wondered what happened to that...."

"Like your missing navy sock?"

"Or my GI Joe from 2nd grade...or that lizard I lost in my old apartment..."

"Like you'd look in the mirror and that 'bump' between your chest and waist would have simply slipped out your derriere and  deposited itself behind you?"

"Yes. Like that."

"Permission to blog"

"Granted."