this is a better view of the stems...they are joined all the way to the two blooms. our story: intentional gift from the Father...

A couple weeks ago I began a head trip to examine my self-righteousness, my speed to judge/critique, and my sad lack of emotional response to the holiness of God. Like spotting certain cars in traffic when you're in the market for a trade-in I have been having a tough time keeping up with all the reads, podcasts and scriptures relevant to my examination. Add in Heaven and Hell and my mind and heart are simmering if not bubbling over with life. Yes life. And fire. Had some gut punches, some tears, some dancing in the street moments, but loving that God answers all desires to know and fear Him in worthy manner. I'm excited about the process...

The Holiness of God- RC Sproul...worth a listen...or two...

This double bloom, conjoined if you will, greeted Shawna yesterday in the midst of a "blue day". Thankful for tender hugs from the Almighty Healer...

Eight months...

Tomorrow will be eight months. A hammering reminder that life. goes. on.  Thankful more than you know, that it goes on in Christ. That it goes on in covered prayers, in the company of great friends and family who remember, send notes of encouragement and hugs. Even as her mother, there are days and moments she has to walk through that I don't know about, or that I know about afterwards and it makes me feel at a loss but for the peace of knowing He lives in and around her and is never unaware. And maybe He wants it that way. Moments unspoiled by human attempts to console or strengthen and an empty void only He can and should ever fill. What beautiful HOPE He is. Thank you for extending His mercies through your continued expressions not just to me, but especially to John and Shawna as they continue to mourn their loss.

He's alive. They're alive. For the Glory of God...

for better, for worse...

"For better or worse" are easy words to say when family and friends are gathered and everyone is dressed in their wedding best. They become a matter of honor and choice when faced with circumstances like John and Shawna faced this last year. I realize God's hand was upon and His power within as they were able to draw closer to each other instead of apart, and for that I thank Him. I also know the type of people they are and how much they love each other, and for that I also thank Him. Since they providentially lived with us throughout the infamous 2010, I can attest to their vows and was blessed to see their faith in action behind the proverbial walls. I am able to connect those "dots" God places before us even in the midst of that whirlwind with Jad and Kal. Though there are certain to be ones that connect in the realms of mystery only, there are plenty to keep us busy and enamored in the physical; and as romantic as they proved to be as a wedding signature, they continue to provide a great awareness of the sovereignty of God.

Shawna and John began the day today with a nice breakfast, typical of their Fridays off. Then they finalized the plans for the grave monument they will share with their boys.  I texted her that it was certainly a 'unique' to-do for an anniversary. She texted back: "Yeah, really. Just worked out that way." and then she wrote: "He's alive. They're alive. Just gotta keep the mindset :)"  

As another dot lined up in my head, I smiled remembering the Ravi Zacharias podcast I had finished minutes before as he shared about the night his mother passed away suddenly. "Not gone. Gone Home.." Just gotta keep the mindset.

Happy 5th Anniversary, John and Shawna. Trusting and believing God has a storehouse of "better" on the way. Although I would rally to add that all said and done, there was nothing "worse" about our little witnesses. We just have to wait a little while before we can see them face to face.

I love you...