You had me at "You're gonna have to go through Me"
We bopped off to worship, braved the chilly winds [this is April, right?] and thanked the Maker for 11:00 services. Met up with the bunch of friends we had just spent last evening with and found some seats. I came prepared...this was a good week with the personal study going well, attended a couple group studies Wednesday then spent the whole day Saturday having my soul cuddled and attended. I even read the scripture verse cards I had cut out of my study book and have made an effort to keep close, sharing them with Kevin on our way across town. Heart ready.
Neal started singing Third Day’s “Love Song” alone on the stage. Jerry followed with part one of what I did not know was going to be one of the most exhausting, emotional times of worship I’ve known for a long time. He described our Good Shepherd as a dangerous master and after leading us through some scripture began to paint a picture of Christ protecting us from the wolves that try to get us alone long enough to devour and destroy us. I could tell my heart was up to something again, being familiar with the symptoms from yesterday, and by the time he got to Jesus walking to the foot of the valley, dropping his staff and saying, “You want them? You’re gonna have to go through Me” I was a blubbering idiot. No Kleenex. No waterproof makeup. For crying out loud this was church.
Well, with every song we sang, with every segment of preaching I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. I took those cards out during communion and kept reading the promises in my hands, I kept trying to sort through the thoughts and emotions racing inside me and I just kept crying. Neal was singing through communion and I could hear one of the girls that used to come to our high school worship at MPCC singing along with him. Jerry stood up with this sobbing woman who couldn’t take her sweet face from her hands and explained that she couldn’t wait any longer to stop hating Jesus. She wanted Him to love her and she wanted to love Him back. All very moving.
He spoke some more and we sang some more. There was a family of six up front, a couple women and one gentleman who wanted to either become a part of what was going on or rededicate their hearts. Could not stop crying. We stood to sing “Shout to the Lord” [at a tempo faster than I would have chosen but I’m dealing] and I began to sing. When I got to the word “shelter” I just gave up. I was going to look like crap and there was nothing I was going to do about it. Tried to jump back in and sing “Agnus Dei”, not a lot of luck. I was determined to sing “Blessed Be Your Name” since I sort of declared that my anthem and managed to sing along. When we sang the bridge I just stopped fighting the tears and realized that for the first time in over a year I was crying because He was giving and not taking away. I can’t begin to explain what that felt like. I want so badly to trust Him. I want so badly to jump. I want so badly to believe.
Could this be what all this was about?
Could these be my answers?
Could this be my miracle?
I am so ready to find out. But I am seriously going to start keeping Kleenex handy.
Neal started singing Third Day’s “Love Song” alone on the stage. Jerry followed with part one of what I did not know was going to be one of the most exhausting, emotional times of worship I’ve known for a long time. He described our Good Shepherd as a dangerous master and after leading us through some scripture began to paint a picture of Christ protecting us from the wolves that try to get us alone long enough to devour and destroy us. I could tell my heart was up to something again, being familiar with the symptoms from yesterday, and by the time he got to Jesus walking to the foot of the valley, dropping his staff and saying, “You want them? You’re gonna have to go through Me” I was a blubbering idiot. No Kleenex. No waterproof makeup. For crying out loud this was church.
Well, with every song we sang, with every segment of preaching I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. I took those cards out during communion and kept reading the promises in my hands, I kept trying to sort through the thoughts and emotions racing inside me and I just kept crying. Neal was singing through communion and I could hear one of the girls that used to come to our high school worship at MPCC singing along with him. Jerry stood up with this sobbing woman who couldn’t take her sweet face from her hands and explained that she couldn’t wait any longer to stop hating Jesus. She wanted Him to love her and she wanted to love Him back. All very moving.
He spoke some more and we sang some more. There was a family of six up front, a couple women and one gentleman who wanted to either become a part of what was going on or rededicate their hearts. Could not stop crying. We stood to sing “Shout to the Lord” [at a tempo faster than I would have chosen but I’m dealing] and I began to sing. When I got to the word “shelter” I just gave up. I was going to look like crap and there was nothing I was going to do about it. Tried to jump back in and sing “Agnus Dei”, not a lot of luck. I was determined to sing “Blessed Be Your Name” since I sort of declared that my anthem and managed to sing along. When we sang the bridge I just stopped fighting the tears and realized that for the first time in over a year I was crying because He was giving and not taking away. I can’t begin to explain what that felt like. I want so badly to trust Him. I want so badly to jump. I want so badly to believe.
Could this be what all this was about?
Could these be my answers?
Could this be my miracle?
I am so ready to find out. But I am seriously going to start keeping Kleenex handy.
posted by ret at 3:50 PM
5 Comments:
Fabulous service! This was definitely a God weekend and I don't want it to end. I am so hungry and am loving the food!
I remembered part of Jerry said this morning that struck me. He talked about how Christ protects us and keeps us (the sheep) all together and how Satan tries to isolate us in an effort to devour us. I was thinking about how interesting it is that the same tactics are used by fellow Christians in an effort to wear us down to conform to their agenda. A wolf in sheep's clothing? Hmmm....
Me too. I was thankful for the sheep who huddled together with me and with those I love to keep them from doing more damage than they did. A few wounds and scuffs [okay, a lot of wounds and scuffs] but we stayed together and we didn't let them isolate us.
Amen, sistah! Let's always stick together under His shelter. I couldn't think of a better flock to hang with.
I find it interesting that we wrote about our being shy the same weekend. I also found it interesting the things you wrote of is the verse in my blog header. Must be something about the same Father.
:)
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