peace in...

*This began as a comment to Brian's post and instead of kidnapping his comment section I'm posting it here.

Discerning which are hills to die upon and which are not is hopefully something our living mentors. It ends up seeming as if we sometimes count more cost than necessary and lay haunted with regret. As a good friend once told me, it should be possible within our community of faith to love each other through the gap in our understanding and not leave casualties in the aftermath. I am at peace with the hill I chose to die on. I am at as much peace as I can be with the how and why of it all. But I am not at peace with the grace I extended. I too have found even the smallest remnant of ugliness to weigh more than I'm up to bearing further. I'm into "smaller jeans" and figure grace weighs less than bitterness :) I'm certain it's kinder in the mirror as well, a mirror that doesn't lie and daily reminds me there are festering splinters, if only a few, that need to be discarded and healed. It's time. And I'm ready for this last tweezing. Of course, I'm not planning on going back to any hills anytime soon. They look beautiful from a distance and the quiet waters are what I need right now. Gives me ample time to cover my precious brothers and sisters while they climb still...