Revive Us, Again
Last week I was asked if I'd like to sing with a group of ladies for a women's thing in May. I was also asked to bring some ppl if I knew of anyone else. Well. Just so happens I decided it might be time to sing again and I ended up asking some friends of mine to come along for the ride.
We met in a strange room, in a strange but increasingly more familiar church, with a group of new faces we don't know yet. I assumed the role of directee instead of director and we spent 45 minutes rehearsing an arrangement of "Revive Us, Again". These ladies I had never met were concentrating on their parts most likely, maybe interspersed with thoughts of who the new gals were, maybe even knowing bits and pieces of who we are and where we're from, maybe not. But I know the girls I brought with me were not just thinking of those parts. No, we were all thinking the same thing: Wow, this is surreal. This is surreal. This is surreal.
We were thrilled to be singing again. Like we had all been holding our breath under water and could finally come up for air. We were all comparing this rehearsal to ones we had shared over the years, all missing what we had and nervously anticipating what we might have again someday.
I worry about what the people I have left behind will think of this progress. I worry about how they will feel. If I could have spared any of us from all of this, I would have. If I could plant the people I love and care about more than anyone in this world and the ministry we enjoyed together, with what I have before me in this new community, I would, but I am going to grab this chance to rebuild. I'm going to run hard after it. I'm not going to let Satan fool me into believing I don't deserve it. I am no longer going to feel guilty about choosing what I believe to be the bigger yes for my life. The last couple years were some of the most fulfilling, joy filled ones of my life and I will always mourn their abrupt, unexpected and painful ending. But I am not going to spend another precious day wondering what the poll says about me. This is about Him and what He's been up to in my heart and life. I may even start wearing my seatbelt. I just know it was good to sing and even better to sing with some familiar faces. I'm open to all possibilities and it's a beautiful thing.
We met in a strange room, in a strange but increasingly more familiar church, with a group of new faces we don't know yet. I assumed the role of directee instead of director and we spent 45 minutes rehearsing an arrangement of "Revive Us, Again". These ladies I had never met were concentrating on their parts most likely, maybe interspersed with thoughts of who the new gals were, maybe even knowing bits and pieces of who we are and where we're from, maybe not. But I know the girls I brought with me were not just thinking of those parts. No, we were all thinking the same thing: Wow, this is surreal. This is surreal. This is surreal.
We were thrilled to be singing again. Like we had all been holding our breath under water and could finally come up for air. We were all comparing this rehearsal to ones we had shared over the years, all missing what we had and nervously anticipating what we might have again someday.
I worry about what the people I have left behind will think of this progress. I worry about how they will feel. If I could have spared any of us from all of this, I would have. If I could plant the people I love and care about more than anyone in this world and the ministry we enjoyed together, with what I have before me in this new community, I would, but I am going to grab this chance to rebuild. I'm going to run hard after it. I'm not going to let Satan fool me into believing I don't deserve it. I am no longer going to feel guilty about choosing what I believe to be the bigger yes for my life. The last couple years were some of the most fulfilling, joy filled ones of my life and I will always mourn their abrupt, unexpected and painful ending. But I am not going to spend another precious day wondering what the poll says about me. This is about Him and what He's been up to in my heart and life. I may even start wearing my seatbelt. I just know it was good to sing and even better to sing with some familiar faces. I'm open to all possibilities and it's a beautiful thing.
posted by ret at 10:06 AM
6 Comments:
You go girl!!!!
Sometimes, we think others are thinking such negative things about us that we forget how to really live. Loretta - you are very loved and missed by many, many at MPCC. There is a lot more positive than negative out there - our ears just seem to tune into the negs rather than the pos. Don't let satan block that out. I love you-deby
Well done. You were created with gifts that let you feel God's joy greatest when you use them--that's never out of God's will for you. I knew there was "something" up last week.
I think some of our best moments in this life are when we do what we feel we were created to do. Scratch that... I think our best moments in this life are when we ARE who God created us to BE. I've had a few of those moments myself lately. And I'm glad to hear you're finding joy again with who God created you to be!
Thanks. From the bottom of my heart...
I don't think employment has anything at all to do with ministry... God wants you to serve Him with music, I don't think it matters where or whith whom you sing, as long as worship is the only reason for doing it.
While I'm posting, I don't think I ever told you, but THANK YOU for the part you played in my young Christian life, for getting me excited about music and being patient with my slow learning processes... my life is different because of you! Thanks!
Thanks Ryan. While we're saying things we never got around to, I'm quite proud of you. The part of the journey we shared together was a lot of fun. I'm thankful we had that chance.
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