her: why isn't it going anywhere?

me: (in silence) no...

pause.

me: what do you mean?

her: well, it's just laying there. isn't it supposed to go up or something?

me: (again, in silence) sweet jesus, there's something wrong with shawna.

me: (walking around the kitchen counter, bending down to look her in the eye) are you serious?

her: well, look at it.

me: (still bent over and in denial, speechless)

her: i know i'm just having a brain fart or something, but what's wrong with it?

me: (with hand to my head, in total disbelief) sweet jesus, there is seriously something wrong with her. i read to her when she was little. i took parenting classes. i spent time with her. i did everything i could possibly think of...

her: stop laughing and tell me what's wrong. it's just a brain fart...i know i should know this...don't call john....mom....

me: john, you are not going to believe this...sure, call me back.

me: oh, shawna. this is a doozie. this is your best work ever. are. you. serious?

her: stop it. is it because there's no string?

me: (laughing so hard i thought i was gonna puke) no string? no string? (grabbing a pen to write this down...)

her: stop it! just tell me, i don't get it! is it because they aren't outside?! stop laughing...that's probably john...

me: john. are you sitting down? this is a dandy. this is way beyond your whole 10 second thing...this one tops them all...( i relay the above...)

her: does it have something to do with helium?

me: ya think?

her: i don't get it. they worked at the wedding...

me: (i give up. she's cute. she sings like an angel. i love her madly.) oh, shawna. you made balloons at applebee's...don't you know what helium is? it's gas, not air!

her: i just thought it blew them up faster. how was i supposed to know?

me: is it because they have no string?!!! you're killing me here!! how come they're just laying there?!!! is it because they aren't outside???!!!! good. stinking. grief. that's one helluva brain fart baby girl!! you're killing me here!!!

her: (pouting and irritated) who are you going to tell? how was i supposed to know? no one ever tells me these things...fine. call aunt veronica. i'll talk to you later...

she heads out the door. i'm speechless. when i could function without doubling over, i attached the balloons to the garage sale signs and headed to the phone. some stories are meant to be shared. as i've thought about it over the last hour, i realized the distinct possibility that she has only had helium-filled balloons as a point of reference. i guess she never really invested much thought into the whole "funny voice" thing after inhaling a helium-filled balloon and in her little princess world all balloons have magically floated to the ceiling.

she is so getting a limp bouquet of oxygen-filled balloons delivered to the salon next week...

I'm O.K. if there's ever a national shortage of...

Black plus-size clothing. Name it, I've got it: skirts, suits, slacks, more skirts, suits, slacks. Oh, and white shirts; tee's, blouses and anything in between. I have a nice collection of twin sets as well. And except for a few random items this morning, that's just about all I have to offer in this dreaded garage sale that was supposed to start at eight this morning. If I had remembered to submit it to the Whig on Wednesday instead of Thursday. Oh, and the lovely rain we're having presently. What sucks is having to put it all back in the house after. Some of it I can donate, but most of my clothes I'd rather try and recover some of my original investment. Here's hoping I never gain the weight back and regret parting with them all...

I think I see someone running up the driveway...nope. Just a die-hard jogger...

LOL...

Dear Valued Very Important Petite customer;

If you need to update your summer wardrobe

this is a great time to shop!

Come and visit our Petite department

and see the latest in Summer

fashions and accessories.

I have half a notion to show up at Bergner's tomorrow morning, grab a handful of their latest petite wear and head to the dressing room...wonder who got my flyer...

either everyone's a beauty, or nobody is...Andy Warhol

just wondering...

So. If you see someone, like in a store or something, and you both simultaneously ask "Hey, how are you?" and both of you keep walking and don't really answer or even ask with the intent of making an answer, do the greetings cancel each other out or what?

smilemakers...

-the rearview mirror reflection of a young man riding his bike past me on 12th street this morning...and his exposed plaid boxers out the top of the rearend of his jean shorts...
-my new job...and my new and not so new friends...
-seeing Holly pop in at El Rancherito today at lunch...
-rocking out on "Oh, Susanna" on my harmonica moments ago...
-my new MacBook Pro...and my hubby for getting it for me...
-anticipation for the weekend encounters...
-safe landings...
-God. And knowing, really knowing He has a plan for all the people I love so much...
-the fact that for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to spell 12th correctly...
-Kathryn Scott and her Satisfy CD...we'll sing her arrangement of "When I Survey" in heaven for sure...
-the fact that I looked at that kid's boxers from the rearview mirror of my car this morning...

the nature of the beast...

I get angry sometimes. Not often. But, boy, there are certain topics that can get me going and tonight I walked into one of them. I suppose Gil's blog last week about the statistics of ministry has been bugging me since I read it and added to that I heard about another young minister's experience at the church he used to minister to that ended painfully and it just stirs something up in me. It's a sensitive issue for sure. Tonight I found myself accidentally in a conversation where this topic came up and I commented that the church just flat out needs to "do it better". Whether someone's awful at what they do, or they aren't the right fit, or even if it's an issue of sin, we just need to learn to do it better. We are the church, yes? If she can't model it, who in the h e double toothpicks is going to? So, as I'm expressing my concerns about this weakness and my heartbreak about knowing so many people beaten up by its poisonous effects I watch a head shake side to side and say "well, I guess that's just the nature of the beast."

Is it just me or could we spend a little less time worrying about prayer in schools, God's name on our money or whether or not intelligent design gets equal time* and more time worrying about what's happening right smack dab under our steeples? If the church behaving badly has become by some twisted means so common that it's our "nature"- so much so, that we can shrug it off without it making us want to throw up, isn't there something seriously wrong here? I mean, I know this comment wasn't made maliciously, or by someone who doesn't love the church, on the contrary, but to be so nonchalant about it all only means we have become so used to the statistics that it's to be expected as par for the course if you sign up for ministry. Am I missing something here?

That's my soap box for the night. Makes me want to cry.

"Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."

-Rom. 8:8

*I happen to believe these are causes worth our time...I'm just wondering if it isn't easier to log hunt without than it is within...

I'm a mom. I love being a mom. I'm not sure how that happened actually and when I stop to think about it I wonder at all that I am in fact a mother. I never dreamed of babies, was a terrible babysitter [insert story of the time I let two little kids down the block watch a scary movie and they both had nightmares...I actually lost that Monday night stint over the whole thing...] and have never experienced a nano second of that maternal thing some mothers get when they hold infants and instantly want "another". My sister is one of those women. Not me. When I discovered I was pregnant, not only was I freaked out of my mind about the whole, well, no husband thing...but I was scared poopless I wouldn't have any maternal instincts and wouldn't have any desire to develop them. I'm just not a baby person. Never was. Never gonna be.

Until I saw her foot.

It became a nightly anticipation watching to see if she'd move around enough to push her long skinny foot against the inside of my stomach. I'm going to give God a great big kiss for sending Jesus but right after that I'm telling you- I will thank Him for my precious girl. For knowing I had it in me to love her and care for her and well, mother her.

Several times recently I have found myself in conversations about babies and raising them. Two moms [make that three if you count my sister] have teen girls right now that they'd love to ship off to the ends of the earth; the others were just laughing about reaping what they sowed once upon a time- and I hear myself say how Shawna just never gave us any trouble. Nada. Zero. She sported a bit of a 'tude here and there, isn't high on the neat freak meter, but other than that she is the perfect daughter. And I just shake my head.

I suppose God knows to give the challenge kids to mothers who know what they're doing, to mothers who can last the full eight seconds and not to Barbies like me whose head won't come out of the clouds long enough to change a diaper. I don't know. Maybe I just got lucky. I know she's pretty great and I know my life would never be the same without her. Whether she rises up to call me blessed remains to be seen but I am indeed blessed. And eternally grateful she made this mother stuff something I could get into.

a little sunshine...

Maybe I'm just procrastinating but I laughed out loud at some of the jokes I just read. If you have a couple minutes, visit Kristy's blog...keep your expectations low...but prepare to giggle...

fab·u·lous...

...of an incredible, astonishing, or exaggerated nature

Yup. That's what she said. Granted she was wearing glasses. Granted she's a little chubby herself. Granted she hasn't seen me in a while. But that's what she said after addressing me as "ma'am" several times. After I had greeted her by name and she still called me ma'am. Only after she saw my debit card did she get to the fabulous part and with shocked expression, exclaimed: "Mrs. Nobis! I didn't know it was you! I'm sorry! I didn't recognize you at all! You look...fabulous!"

I won't lie. I pushed my groceries out to the car with a little more "fab" in my step...

:)

I always see the quote: "do one thing each day that makes you happy." I think of that quote when I see my Kevin tapping his socked foot up and down on the carpet, head nodding, fingers steadily plucking and sliding along his guitar fretboard, deeply entranced by the music in his head as he plays in the room next to me. That could quite possibly be his "one thing". Besides me, of course...

gilligan...

Had a few minutes this morning and read Gil's blog. Thought it worth your reading and prayers...

psalm 90:1,2 the message

"God, it seems you've been our home forever;"

Established. Settled. Enduring.

"long before the mountains were born,"

Lasting. Permanent. Constant.

"Long before you brought earth itself to birth,"

Immutable. Invariable. Unalterable.

"from ‘once upon a time’ to ‘kingdom come’—you are God."

Unchangeable.

loretta and the terrific, amazing, real good, very fine day...

This morning I sat in a room full of people who I am getting to know and love on many levels [not to mention the few of them I have known and loved for a long time already...] in what the week's agenda calls a staff meeting. Thing is, it might better be described as a family gathering of sorts, or as today ended up, simply a time of worship. It had the familiar feel of a meeting held in my living room several years ago, when the spirit settled in so closely it gave me goose bumps and tears at the same time. The circle I was part of this morning moved me in a couple ways- I was stoked about the dreams and passions that were shared, about God's mighty hand in all of this, but also by the people included in the circle.

Maintenance. Financial. Secretarial. Janitorial. Not a big stretch for the "staff" folks to be there, but the guy who waxes the floor is sitting across from me. The guy who mows the lawn, sitting four seats down. I don't know. I just kept thinking, how cool is this? How awesome to be able to share the dreams of the spirit with such a cross section of the body in this way? More and more I am falling head over heals for the personality of this church. For the way she's wired. For the way I can relax and just be me and not some expectation of who I think people want me to be. I love that God has challenged every single perception I ever had about this place, about her people. I love that God still loves me in spite of those perceptions. I love that I'm growing and that my faith in what church can be is being restored. I love that I'm feeling those familiar thirsts and hunger pangs again. I love that I spent my afternoon in a creative planning meeting. I've read about them in books. I've heard about them at seminars. I've even known someone who has gotten to be part of something like it. [Ours was in a living room and not the mountains but it's a start Gil...] I've just never experienced it like this before. And today was a whopper. I'm having some difficulty getting in the groove of working again, but I can already feel a difference. My mind won't stop when I hit the pillow, and my breathing is different. There's a definite excitement welling up in me, and I missed it. I missed it a lot.

It's just got God written all over it. Under it. And all the way around it :)

Happy 22, Kevy baby. I'm all yours stud muffin. Not sure how you landed a bodacious babe as myself but doggone it you reeled me in hook, line and sinker. As previously posted, probably should have reeled a little sooner and hooked a little later but hey. We beat the odds, thankfully. Couldn't imagine my life without you. Hurry home tonight and we'll celebrate. Just don't get a[nother] ticket ;)